Breanna Mary -- October 14, 1997

I had "prelabor" for a good 5 weeks this time (strong Braxton-Hicks) and early labor for maybe 24 hours (stronger Braxton-Hicks!) ... the last 12 hours of that I could see definite signs of progression, i.e. shedding my mucous plug, some effacement/dilation (I checked myself....). This brought me to late afternoon on Tuesday, sleepy and irritated because I was impatient for it to really take off. (I was 8 days overdue.) I napped briefly, about 20 minutes or so, with my mother watching the children; the contractions stopped but REALLY took off once I got up--guess even such a short rest helped! They were strong enough for me to have to concentrate through, so about 6:30 I called Troy to make sure he was on his way home. By the time Troy was there, I could tell I was definitely in labor.

The kids watched a movie while I took a bath. During that time I could hardly feel the contractions, whether just because the water eased the discomfort so much or because sitting made them slack off, I couldn't tell, so I decided to get out and walk around again. Sure enough, they picked up to the "leaning on the wall moaning" stage. J The kids said later they didn't even notice me wandering around laboring, which was great since my mom was really worried about them being distressed ... it was the first time they were home while I labored. About 8:30-9:00 the kids were put to bed and I turned on the stereo with a few of my favorite CD's. I think at this point I really let myself go, with the kids in bed and all, because the contractions definitely got harder and stronger. Troy showered with me, then we filled the tub for me to relax in again (and this time the contractions didn't stop). Signs of transition came (I burp a lot!) and I moved into the bedroom ... decided to lie down ... at about 11:00 or so my mom decided she couldn't stand listening to me moan from the other room and came in. I kept checking dilation and knew I was close ... one strong contraction with an absolutely irresistible pushing urge came and when I bore down my water broke. Decided to get up on my feet (knowing I have "big" babies, I prefer being upright to help open everything up), checked again and found my cervix had gone back to 8 cm or so after the pressure of the water bag was gone! I was so discouraged--until the next one hit and I had another STRONG pushing urge, which finished dilation and brought the baby down into the birth canal. Troy tells me that this stage was short, but it was INTENSE! This was one of those births where you literally can't stop pushing, though I was trying to blow through them and wait long enough for some of the burning to subside. Troy used lots of hot compresses and did oil massage, which helped. To me, it seemed I pushed and pushed and couldn't make very much progress. When the head was born, I remember asking a question which was garbled through the pain ... I also screamed at Troy to stop pulling, and he insisted he wasn't! I prayed one last prayer aloud, pushed with everything I had--then she came; and Troy laid her on the floor between my feet (I was half-standing, half kneeling during the birth, kind of up and down depending on the moment). I looked down and saw that she was a girl and cried out, "Oh, Breanna!" and started sobbing. She was a little shorter than the other babies, and the heaviest--10 lbs., 8 oz., and about 21"--and her head measurement was 14 1/4", chest 15 1/2"!!!! (This compared to my previous avg. of 14 1/2 and 13!) Troy tells me that in addition to these dimensions, she was born w/ her arm upraised, the hand beside her head--explains a LOT! I can honestly say that everything went well--very straightforward--but not easy. The massage and compresses were great--I had a couple of surface abrasions but no deep tearing; my only soreness per se the next day was inside, from my tailbone being so rudely shoved out of the way. Also the placenta delivered in 10-15 minutes, and my bleeding was no more than the previous births.

So here we are, 3 1/2 days later ... she's so beautiful, so perfect ... nursing great and I feel so incredibly blessed! Troy was wonderful through the whole thing, calm and comforting when I was about to "lose it." My mother did well, too--she hadn't originally planned to be right there, not knowing if she could handle watching me "suffer," as she put it. (I would like to have had her seen a slightly calmer birth, but she insists it was wonderful.) Just as a note of interest ... my other children were 9.6, 9.0, 9.11, 10.3 (1st homebirth)--so Breanna holds the record. My last baby was longer, though, at 22" (or more), so that does make for slightly less bulk ... also she was my earliest "spontaneous" labor. My 1st went 12 days over, then I was induced at 3 days before ... next was induced at 15 days over ... 4th was 14 days exactly. I'm only 5'6" so it isn't like I'm built very large or anything, either!

On the spiritual side, this birth seemed to be more "for" my mother. Still unsure about that. Also, I did some heavy-duty praise and prayer during labor ... this time the fear was "of something going wrong." I guess we never know, until we reach eternity, precisely what effect our prayers had. I do know that this birth was more of a struggle. During the last push I was screaming into a towel, "NO-O-O!!" ... why "no"??? I haven't the foggiest idea! Maybe it was the fact that it HURT so much more than the other births (even to my vague postpartum memory--ha!) but I knew she had to come out! How many times in the spiritual, when God is trying to bring something forth from us, do we cry out in protest, "NOoooo...." I think about that often.

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